Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
