Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
