Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
