Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize