Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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