lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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