i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
