we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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