I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
