i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
