I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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