Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
