OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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