I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
