And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
