Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
