No, you can still breathe under the balls.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize