whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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