I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
