I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize