doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize