everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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