My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
