Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
