$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
