her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
