dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize