Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
