too bad you live with your parents still
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
