im drinking this country out of the recession.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
