I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
