You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
