Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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