i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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