He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
