SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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