I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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