I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
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Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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