Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
