just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
