u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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