Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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