Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
