I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
