She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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