Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
