the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize