it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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