Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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