drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
