i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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