The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize