Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And then he peed in my hair
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
