what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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