Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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