HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize