I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
