He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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